Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

  • Sunday - 10:30 am
  • 520 8th Ave, 16th floor
    New York, NY
  • phone: +1 (973) 837-1041


BAC Sermons

Solomon on Sex - Proverbs Survey

1997-07-01 Proverbs

Sex is a fire that, in the fireplace keeps us warm, yet in the wrong bed burns us now and in the future.

Sexual attraction is more mental than physical; is deceptive: can be a legitimate delight, or a disease.

One man’s witch is another’s princess; One woman’s frog is another’s prince.

Sexual activity is an expression of  integrity or lack thereof.

Sex can be a refreshing, satisfying, intoxicating cause for rejoicing, or a self-inflicted cancer

Wisdom can guide us to great sex while keeping us from grating sex.

I. Wisdom keeps us: from that which is harmful for us

A. Sexual opportunity isn’t what it appears

Laxity = loss of blessing 1:16 Proverbs delivers you from the strange woman, the foreigner that flatters with her words; 17 That forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God: 18 For her house leads to death, her paths to the dead; 19 None that go to her return again, Neither do they attain to the paths of life: 20 That you may walk in the way of good men, And keep the paths of the righteous. 21 For the upright shall dwell in the land, And the perfect shall remain in it.

Caution 5:1 attend to wisdom...3 the lips of a strange woman drop honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil: 4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; Her steps take hold on Sheol; 6 So that she finds not the level path of life: Her ways are unstable

Consequences...Bondage & Death 5:21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of Jehovah; And He examines all his paths. 22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked, And he shall be held with the cords of his sin. 23 He shall die for lack of instruction; And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

23:14. The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: He that is abhorred of Jehovah shall fall therein.

23:26 My son, give me your heart; let your eyes delight in my ways 27 For a harlot is a deep ditch; And a foreign woman is a narrow pit. 28 she lies in wait as a robber, increases the treacherous among men.

B. When opportunity knocks...pretend you’re deaf and dumb

Opportunity 7:7 among simple ones...youths...void of understanding, 8 Passing through the street near her corner; And he went the way to her house, 9 twilight...evening....night...darkness.  10 there met him a woman with the attire of a harlot, and subtle of heart. 11 She is clamorous and willful; Her feet abide not in her house: 12 Now she is in the streets, now in the broad places, And lies in wait at every corner.

9:13 The foolish woman is clamorous, simple, and knows nothing. 15 call...16 Whoso is simple, let him turn in...void of understanding 17 Stolen waters are sweet, And bread eaten in secret is pleasant. 18 But he knows not that the dead are there; That her guests are in the depths of Sheol.

Aggressive Enticement 7:13 she caught him, and kissed him; with an impudent face she said to him: 14 Sacrifices of peace-offerings are with me; This day have I paid my vows. 15 Therefore came I to meet you, Diligently to seek your face, and I have found you. 16 I have spread my couch with carpets of tapestry, with striped cloths of Egypt. 17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.

Invitation 7:18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning; Let us solace ourselves with loves.

Won’t get caught 7:19 For the man is not at home; He is gone a long journey: 20 He has taken money

Persuasive flattery 7:21 her much fair speech causes him to yield; flattering of her lips forces him along

Follow to folly 7:22 He goes after her straightway, As an ox goeth to the slaughter, Or as [one in] fetters to the correction of the fool; 23 Till an arrow strike through his liver; As a bird hastens to the snare, And knows not that it is for his life.

30:18 wonderful...know not: 19 the way of a man with a maiden. 20 So is the way of an adulterous woman; She eats, and wipes her mouth, And says, I have done no wickedness. 21 earth does tremble...it cannot bear: 23 For an odious woman when she is married

27:20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied; And the eyes of man are never satisfied.

31:3 Give not your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

II. Wisdom keeps us: in that which in profitable for us

A. Run home, lock the door, and turn out the lights (II Tim 2:22)

Flee 5:7 hearken to me, depart not from the words of my mouth. 8 Remove your way far from her, And come not near the door of her house; 9 Lest you give your honor to others, And your years to the cruel; 10 Lest strangers be filled with your strength, And your labors be in the house of an alien, 11 And you mourn at your latter end, When your flesh and your body are consumed, 12 And say, How have I hated instruction, And my heart despised reproof; 13 Neither have I obeyed the voice of my teachers, Nor listened  to them that instructed me! 14 I was well-nigh in all evil In the midst of the assembly

27:8 As a bird that wanders from her nest, So is a man that wanders from his place.

Just say No 6:24 To keep you from the evil woman, from the flattery of the foreigner's tongue. 25 Lust not after her beauty in your heart; Neither let her take you with her eyelids. 26 For a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread; And the adulteress hunts for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom... 28 Or walk on hot coals... 29 So he that goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whosoever touches her shall not be unpunished. 32 He that commits adultery with a woman is void of understanding: He does it who would destroy his own soul. 33 Wounds and dishonor shall he get; And his reproach shall not be wiped away. 34 For jealousy is the rage of a man; And he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

28:12 A prudent man sees the evil, and hides himself; But the simple pass on, and suffer for it.

High heart, fixed feet 7:24 harken to me, And attend to the words of my mouth. 25 Let not your heart decline to her ways; Go not astray in her paths. 26 For she has cast down many wounded: Yea, all her slain are a mighty host. 27 Her house is the way to Sheol, Going down to the chambers of death.

B. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

Prevention 7:1keep my words, lay up my commandments within you. 2 Keep my commandments and live; And my law as the apple of your eye. 3 Bind them upon your fingers; Write them upon the tablet of your heart. 4 Say to wisdom, You art my sister; And call understanding your kinswoman: 5 That they may keep you from the strange woman, From the foreigner that flatters with her words.

Don’t let yourself get thirsty 5:15 Drink waters out of your own cistern, And running waters out of your own well. 16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, And streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be for thyself alone, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed; And rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving hind and a pleasant doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And be you ravished always with her love.

Q: 20 For why should you,  be ravished with a strange woman, And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?  Answer: 21: 9. It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a contentious woman in a wide house. 19 It is better to dwell in a desert land, Than with a contentious and fretful woman. 25:23 a backbiting tongue an angry countenance. 24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a contentious woman in a wide house.

18:22. Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor of Jehovah. 19:14. House and riches are an inheritance from fathers; But a prudent wife is from Jehovah.

Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. Is illegitimate sex really destructive or is it God’s diabolical scheme to keep us from having fun? Why?

2. Why is pleasure a poor deity to serve? (cf. 21:17; 25:16; 27:20) Does a world without consequences exits?

3. How do Solomon’s views on sex compare with or differ from our culture’s? What’s the purpose of sex?

4. In Solomon’s scenarios could the genders be reversed? How do temptations differ? Same corrective?

5. What signposts in a relationship are indicators that you’re headed to or are in the wrong part of town?

6. What’s the appeal of the “other woman”? What can a wife learn about her man from the “other woman”?

7. How does envisioning/contemplating  the consequences enhance or diminish desire?

8. What safeguards can you build in your life/relationship to prevent being burned by passion?