Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

  • Sunday - 10:30 am
  • 520 8th Ave, 16th floor
    New York, NY
  • phone: +1 (973) 837-1041


BAC Sermons

Happily ever after: Waiting for Prince Charming



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Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a princess ...   ... and they lived happily ever after.

I. Any two people committed to seeking and following Christ

doing God's will according to His Word, being Spirit led in their decisions, and daily denying themselves to serve others, can live happily ever after, because they are experiencing God's grace to meet their own needs, and are thus free to truly love each other, rather than use the other. God is just, you will reap what you sow.

II. It is better

to spend a couple of extra years waiting for God to provide what's best when it's best (perfect plan), than spend one extra day married to a self-centered slimy carnal frog. A God fearing, praiseworthy Sleeping Beauty puts her desires to sleep in the will of God (cf Adam) so they can only be awakened by a mountain climbing, ocean swimming, dragon negotiating, courtly Prince Charming. When emotions kick in, rational thought goes out the window, resulting in short-circuiting wisdom and letting selfishness reign.

III. Basic Biblical Qualifications

TRACK RECORD of wholeheartedly seeking God!!! Is a Coach not a Commandant

A. He is a leader to whom you can commit to submit, following Christ with purpose and objectives for his life, taking steps to fulfill them.

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 1 Cor 11:1 Follow me as I follow Christ.

Leads self Sound-minded, wise, on elder track; QT, Bible Study (exegetical!) and Bible Memory are priorities, and he's good at them;

Knows his purpose (glorify God - love/disciple-making), is committed to his purpose (regardless of cost) and demonstrates that commitment.

Accountable and submitted to a local church; gets input, yet not afraid to make tough decisions; not double minded nor wishy washy.

Prayerfully seeking the Will of God [Word Input Logic Leading of HS] on all issues (including garbage, laundry and dishes)

Has convictions because he's rigorously studied the Scriptures to form them (Eph 4 not tossed to and fro; sanctification/rewards).

Dealt with his demons, has an exemplary (not necessarily perfect) walk with God. Respected by others. Be worthy of my submission!!!

B. He is a self sacrificial purposeful lover doing what is in another's highest interest at the expense of his pleasure and desires

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Biblical priorities. Observant and serves other's needs, discerns God's plan to meet them. Expresses love and compassion in a way that I understand it. Can trust him to seek and do what's best. Demonstrable love and investing his life in disciplemaking. Willingly yields preferences; goes outside comfort zone to meet needs. Hospitable. Trustworthy. Super servant!


C. He nourishes and cherishes others Is a Nurturer, not a Neanderthal

Eph 5:28-29 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies,- he who loves his wife loves himself.. nourishes and cherishes Loves and cares for himself (exercise). Protects other's reputations and interests has good family relationships and friendships. Neither avoids nor initiates conflict; seeks to understand and be affectionate. Secure in his masculinity. Praises, appreciates & complements wife.


D. He relates on social, intellectual, emotional levels, communicating (not grunting) until there's commonality

Eph 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

He's a romantic gentleman with polite manners! Has a variety of interests from seeking to be all things to all men; able to share what

he is thinking and feeling, and seeks the same. He edifyingly speaks the truth in love with sensitivity and discernment. Appropriately

funny. Well read and dressed, knowledgeable & curious about world. Self-motivated to self-improvement. Adventurous. Can dance.


E. He is committed to mental and physical purity, has his desires under control, does not defraud or flirt (seek attention to build worth)

1 Th 4:3 this is the will of God your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality 4 each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God not defraud 1Cor7:1 no touch

Characterized by self control!! Sets the standard and example emotionally and physically; is a "one woman man"; protects rather than

0 ead into sin; does not defraud women nor men; content in God's timing, patient/long-suffering. Track record of victory.


F. He can provide for his own, (has his fields ready) so the wife is free to be at home with her children

I Tim 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith... Pr 24:27 Prepare your outside work, Make it fit for yourself in the field; And afterward build your house.

Faithful steward; disciplined spending/desires; use of money and time budgeted; is an energetic persevering worker and can fix things.


G. He is other-centered, (know needs) and can give others honor because His worth and value come from being pleasing to God

Pt 3:7 Hushands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife... Consistent humble & other-centered (manners, social graces, ability to be all things to all men); confident & loyal. Smells good.

IV. Chemistry and Compatibility Considerations


Shared values, perspectives & vision - commonality (esp on issues of potential conflict and frequent impact); can sing Pizza Angel;

Questions Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. Would you want to marry someone who has dated a lot of other people? Why or why not?

2. What if a guy doesn't meet the Basic Qualifications, but wants to grow and is sorta headed in the right direction (but is cute)?

3. What if a guy meets the Basic Qualifications, but you don't feel that there's" chernistry" between the two of you? Or he's less mature?

4. How do you guard your heart/emotions and put your desires to sleep in the will of God? What's your responsibility to search for him/her? 5. Make a list of the qualities a woman would need to "complement' 'each of the above characteristics. How are you doing in each of them?