Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

  • Sunday - 10:30 am
  • 520 8th Ave, 16th floor
    New York, NY
  • phone: +1 (973) 837-1041


BAC Sermons

A Virtuous Woman is Hard to Find

2003-05-01 Proverbs 31

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A. She cares most about what God thinks of her and is thus free to please Him regardless of what others might think or say.

10  Who can find a virtuous (army/wealthy/strong/might) woman? For her worth is far above rubies.

30  Charm is deceitful/lie and beauty is passing/vanity, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Pr 1:7; 9:10)

B. Her needs for worth, security, significance, etc., are met by God so she is free to meet the needs of others

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no need of spoil/lack of gain. {Trustworthy, Pleases Husband} 1Cor 7:34

12  She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. {Sanctified, Free of Bitterness & Moodiness, Approved by God}

Pr 12:4  An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Pr 18:22 Pr 19:14 

1Pt 3:1  Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2  when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

STARR  W. Harley His Needs, Her Needs   Sexual partner; Team/playmate; Attractive; Resourceful domestically; Respecter

C. She is enthusiastic, disciplined and focused in sacrificing her comfort to creatively, smartly and wisely fulfill her responsibilities

13  She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. 14  She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. 15  She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. {Early riser}

16  She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. 18  She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. 19  She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. (Piel=intensive, intentional)

27  She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. {Skillful, Value driven, Domestic artist}

D. She conserves and builds her strength, stamina and endurance through disciplined eating, sleeping, leisure, and exercise.

17  She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. (sit-ups and push-ups) {Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually strong}

E. Her open heart is reflected in an open home, and a concern for the needs of others {drawing on God’s grace/power Phil 4:19}

20  She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. {Priorities}

F.  She faces the future with a joyful confidence in God’s protection/provision and her own preparation (having done her homework)

21  She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. 25  Strength and honor/glory are her clothing; She shall rejoice/laugh/mock in/at days/time to come.

G. Her character is more attractive than her clothes, yet her appearance showcases her Christlikeness

22  She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 24  She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. {Common ground 1Cor 9:20, Husband’s need for an attractive spouse, Preferences} Isa 3:18-24

1Pt 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward——arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel——4  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

1Tim 2:8...pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; 9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety/modesty and soundmindedness, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10  but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. 15...if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.

H. Her speech reflects a heart overflowing with truth and wisdom, speaking for edification, defending the right, eschewing gossip.

26  She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness/hesed/loyalty

I. She serves her family (by environment, explicit education, and example) so they succeed in serving others

23  Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. {A match/complement for his spirituality}

28  Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 29  "Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all." 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. {Personally raising next generation of leaders}

Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. What makes a woman attractive? Do clothes make the woman? What makes a physically beautiful woman repulsive?

2. How does fear of God free someone from fear, insecurities, opinions of others? How do you adorn yourself with soundmindedness?

3. How can a woman be her own “work of art” while at the same time be sensitive to the needs/desires/expectations of others?

4. What if a “beauty” is married to a “beast”? How does a godly wife find value with an unbelieving critical husband? Is 1Pt 3:1 a promise?

5. How does someone have energy and balance all the competing demands and expectations on their time? Where does Lordship fit in?