Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

  • Sunday - 10:30 am
  • 520 8th Ave, 16th floor
    New York, NY
  • phone: +1 (973) 837-1041


BAC Sermons

Family Life II: How to be the Wife of a Happy Husband

1995-07-01 Ephesians 5:22-24

STARR in Your Own Production {Readily Fulfill Roles and Responsibilities}

Respecter (Innate Differences of Men and Women - tape from Dobson, Focus on the Family)

Obeyer of the Director's/Manufacturer's Directions {see sermon on "The S-Word: Submission"}

Lover (not just Liker or Lustor) Get your needs met by God so you're free to meet the needs of others.

Executor of Developmental Tasks: Leave, Cleave, One Flesh, etc. (Passages of Marriage, Minrith et. al. Nelson 1991)

Eject excess baggage, erroneous expectations, egalitarian myth, and self-centered slop.

Jockeying for control usually occurs in an environment fragrant from horses.

Server of Needs: Identify, Purify, and Satisfy (His Needs, Her Needs, Harley. Revell 1986)

Sexual 1Cor 7:3-5

Team/Playmate Gen 2:20-24

Attractive 1Pt 3:3; 1Tim 2:9-10

Resourceful/Domestic Titus 2:3-5; Pr 31

Respecter/Esteemer Eph 5:33

Content Yourself with Your Own Award=Winning Performance 1Tim 6:6

Your value comes from pleasing God. Your focus will determine your level of fulfillment.

Count your blessings, and then calculate the level of difficulty.

Appropriate {with Accountability} All You Need to Do God's {good and perfect} Will Heb 13:21

Resist Your Natural Responses Rom 12:1-2; 2Cor 5:17; Pr 21:9,19

Natural and emotional is not Spiritual but Fleshly. God expects believers' minds to control attitudes and actions.       

Control (Threatened...nag, whine, weep, be moody, be martyr...Usurp/Manipulate...Security undermined) Gen 3:16; 4:7

Deception often arises from a subjective perspective. Center yourself in Christ (quiet time) and His provision.

Love as Christ Has loved you & as you would like to be loved 1Jn 3:16; 4:11; Titus 2:3

Affection, Brotherly, Erotic, Agape=Self-sacrificially doing what's in another's best interest...even when they're unlovable


Envision Yourself Acting and Feeling Your Part Rom 6:11; 8:5-8

It's easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action.


Trust God to Fulfill His Promises as You Follow His Prescriptions

Supply all you need; Guard with Peace - Phil 4:19; 4-9              

Win without a word; Protect and Reward- 1Pt 3


Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. What were your objectives/expectations entering marriage? Your mate's? Biblical? Has each gotten what they bargained for?

2. What's the most difficult part of your job as a mate, and why is it so? What can change? Over what do you have control?

3. What are the top three things you'd like to change about your husband? When and how will the changes occur?

4. What are the top three things your husband would like to change about you? When and how will the changes occur?

5. What could your husband do to help you be all God desires? Does his failure give you a licence to sin?