9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;

I. Start with God's love as a foundation (Jn 3:16), Christ's love as an example (Jn 14:21), self-love as comparison.

Like is an emotional response to a stimulus that tickles our transient preferences.
Love is a decision to respond to another's needs according to what is in their best/highest interest (meets real needs).

Jer 31:3 The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: " Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with hesed I have drawn/scattered you (cf Mal 1:2).

1Jn 3:16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
Jn 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

Loving ourselves (nourish and cherish -Eph 5:29) is a prerequisite for loving others as ourselves.

Storge – Affection; fondness thru positive familiar/frequent interaction, diminished by irritation due to lack of sanctification
Philos – Friendship; b-love; commonality and commitment (family/church loyalty) reciprocal; requires virtue (Aristotle) cf 2Pt 1:5
Eros/Venus – Romantic/Sexual; Eros longs for an emotional connection (destructive obsession); physical/emotional chemistry
Agape – Love; purposeful self-sacrifical acting in the other's best/highest interest/benefit, regardless of response or reciprocity

II. God's love and acceptance are conditional in our experience (Rm 15:7 accept as; Jer 14:10 not accept due to wander)
Jn 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."  (we accept others as God has accepted us; we can't have higher standards than God)
Dt 7:9 "Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and hesed for a 1000 generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments; (experiencing the rlshp requires hesed loyal responsibility fulfillment)

III. Biblical love of others is impossible without the perquisites of loving God and purifying our hearts.

2Pt 1:5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.

A. Love of God Mk 12:29 Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. 30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

A1. Knowing God 1Jn 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

A2. Obeying God Dt 30:20 that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers...

Jn 15:9 "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. 11 "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

1Jn 2:5 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.
1Jn 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. (knowing why He gave them)

1Jn 4:21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

B. Purified soul and heart 1Pt 1:22 Since you have purified your souls (mind/will-values/emotions) by obeying the truth through the Spirit for (eis) sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,
Good conscience 1Tim 1:5 the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith
 

Giving vs getting. Like is primarily about viewing things from our perspective; it's self-centered (not necessarily in a bad way).
Love is about viewing people from God's perspective; it's other centered, meeting needs seeking to benefit others.
Lust is about using others or things to gratify our desires. God isn't in the picture, nor what is in another's interest.

1Jn 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:
1. Can love be commanded/demanded? Do you have to like someone to love them? How does God love sinners, and we love our enemies?
2. What do you do if someone doesn't respond to your love? What if they don't speak your “love language”? What if God doesn't speak it?
3. Is our love of others an indication of our spirituality?  If we hate someone, do we go to “hell” (1Jn 3:15)? See DailyTruthbase on this passage.
4. Do you love others to give or get? Temporal or eternal gain? Does love always make you feel good (as giver/receiver)?
5. Who do you love, and how do you communicate that love to them? Do they “feel” loved? Does it matter?