18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.
I. Our ideas about what’s right or wrong (morality and values) can be rooted in:
A. Revelation - what has the Creator revealed to His creatures about life and how it should function
B. Pragmatism - what works for the highest benefit of both the individual and society
C. Nature - how life works without extraordinary or artificial intervention
D. Reason - what makes the most sense based on observable logic
E. Historicity - what has history taught us are beneficial and bad ways of living
F. Experience - what our personal history leads us to believe is acceptable or beneficial based on short term effects
G. Majority - what public opinion currently or historically believes about an issue
H. Hedonism - what results in the highest happiness of the individual, long term and short term
All of the above can be flawed due to subjective interpretation. However, the God who has the desire and power to create, has the power and desire to communicate Truth those honestly seeking it. By every standard above, Gay Marriage is seen as a loser.
II. Purpose of Marriage
Bad Objective= To get my needs for ____________ met through my spouse and children.
(security, significance, worth, pleasure, companionship, etc.)
Better Objective= To profitably reflect the unity, love and wisdom of God. (God & Israel; Christ & Church)
Unity= Intermeshing of distinct personalities for the accomplishment of a worthy objective
Love= Self-sacrificially do what is in another's best interest
Wisdom= Choice of the right objectives and right means of attaining them
III. Reasons For Gay Marriage
Isa 59:2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear.
A. Legitimacy and social acceptance of individuals alienated from God by their pursuit of sin
B. Harmful crutch for a relationship to prop up the charade of love between two individuals incapable of true love
C. “Pink card” Marriage - seeking economic benefit at the expense of those in real need
D. Diabolical undermining of a societal forces toward godliness through greed, envy (cf jealousy), and selfishness (can legislate morality)
IV. Revelation - Biblical Perspective on Homosexuality (men in bed)
Lev 18: 22 ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.
Rom 1:26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
1Tim 1:10 fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine
2Pe 2:6 Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making an example to those who afterward would live ungodly; (Gen 19:5)
Jude 7 as Sodom and Gomorrah...having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire. 8 Likewise also these dreamers defile the flesh, reject authority, and speak evil of dignitaries.
1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
1Thess 4:1...how you ought to walk and to please God; 2 for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.
1Cor 6: 18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
Questions for Discussion/Reflection/Response:
1. Is homosexuality different from any other sin? How does it compare with adultery or fornication? What’s bad about sin?
2. To what extent should Christians be involved in the political and social issues of a democratic society? Cf: slavery; abortion.
3. How do you think our nation has gotten to such a situation? What can you do to reverse the trend? How does faithfulness fit in?
MYTH #1: 10 PERCENT OF THE POPULATON IS HOMOSEXUAL
Don’t believe this lie. This myth took off when advocates began misquoting a book written by Alfred Kinsey in the 1940s called Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. Kinsey’s goal was to provide a scientific look at human sexuality on the whole—homosexuality was just one aspect of sexuality that he addressed. It’s very clear from more sophisticated research methods that Alfred Kinsey’s 10 percent figure is bogus.
FACT: ONLY 1 TO 3 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION COULD BE CONSIDERED EXCLUSIVELY HOMOSEXUAL
4 Kinsey, who engaged in homosexual activity himself, never said ten percent of the population was gay. He actually said: “10 percent of the males are more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55, but that only four percent were exclusively homosexual throughout their lives, after the onset of adolescence.”5 Kinsey’s research methods were also skewed by his choice to include a high percentage of prison inmates and known sex offenders, both of whom engage in homosexual behavior much more frequently than individuals in the general population. 6 More recently, a highly sophisticated study on sexuality in America, known as the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS), found that only 2.8 percent of the men and 1.4 percent of the women said they thought of themselves as homosexual or bisexual.7
Homosexual activist groups now admit that the 10 percent myth is false and that some have exploited the inflated Kinsey figures to try to “create an impression of our numerousness.”8 In reality, the 10 percent figure is simply not true.
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
Maybe you’re asking, “What’s the big deal?” Well, by saying that one out of ten people in the U.S. is homosexual, some gay activists are knowingly promoting a lie. They are declaring to the world that homosexuality is “normal” and should be accepted as such. Yet, if you think about it, this reasoning is unintelligent. For instance, 10 to 15 percent of Americans suffer from alcoholism, but we don’t accept this behavior as normal or healthy. Even if 95 percent of the population was addicted to alcohol, we still would not think of it as normal—or acceptable.
As Christians we must ask ourselves, what standard will we live by? Will we accept the so-called norms created by our society or seek God and His Word to guide us in our lives? Sure, it’s tough to walk the narrow way. But when we trust that God knows what’s best for our lives—and follow His commands—we can receive His blessings and live an abundant life . . . the life He intended us to live.
MYTH #2: HOMOSEXUALS ARE BORN GAY
Can someone be born a homosexual? In 1993, a respected research journal, Science, published a study by Dean Hamer that ignited an explosive “born gay” myth. Hamer basically claimed that science was “on the verge of proving that homosexuality is innate, genetic and therefore unchangeable—a normal variant of human nature.”9
The media went ballistic. National Public Radio, Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal and several other news publications and programs heralded stories that suggested scientists have discovered a “gay gene.” Of course, in the fine print, reporters qualified statements about this possible discovery because, in reality, there was no actual discovery—but they did so in such a confusing manner! The public was beginning to be persuaded.
Why is it so important for some homosexual activists to prove this issue? Maybe the biggest possible reason is this: If the world was convinced that some people are indeed born gay, then some would feel there is a need to protect homosexuals by the government as a designated minority class status, such as African- or Native-Americans. Slowly but surely, it seems the government is embracing this view and granting special rights to the homosexual community for what is a behaviorally based identity rather than a true genetic one.
FACT: THERE IS NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE CLAIM THAT A PERSON CAN BE BORN HOMOSEXUAL.
The scientific attempts to demonstrate that homosexual attraction is biologically determined have failed. For example, a study conducted in 1991 by psychologist Michael Bailey and psychiatrist Richard Pillard, attempted to show that homosexuality occurs more frequently among identical twins than fraternal twins. However, this study actually provides support for environmental factors versus genetics! If homosexuality were in the genetic code, then both of the twins would have been homosexual 100 percent of the time, yet this was not the case.10
The well-known Simon LeVay brain study of 1991, which tried to find differences in the hypothalamuses (a very small part of the brain) of homosexual and heterosexual men, found no evidence that there is any genetic cause for homosexuality. Nothing in the study showed that gay men are born that way.11 Other prominent researchers have concluded that there is no evidence to support a biological theory, but rather that homosexuality could be best explained by an alternative model where “temperamental and personality traits interact with the familial and social milieu as the individual’s sexuality emerges.”12
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
As the myth of being born gay is more accepted by our society and government, our country is seeing the effects. For instance, increasingly more states are trying to legalize same-sex marriages. Educational curricula now include courses on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender studies.13 Clearly, our perception of science can affect political policies. LeVay, the researcher and gay activist mentioned previously, made an interesting observation about the emphasis on the biology of homosexuality. He noted, “...people who think that gays and lesbians are born that way are also more likely to support gay rights.”14
Let’s face it: science is meant to be fact . . . not theory. So, when the media takes hold of false theories of genetic links to homosexuality and promotes it as science, people are led astray. This is not right. Even if somewhere in the future a genetic link could be proven, it wouldn’t suddenly make the behavior right—or acceptable to God. Look at alcoholism or tendencies toward anger. While these have been promoted as having a genetic linkage, there are few, if any, in our society who would accept such behaviors just because they are linked genetically. God’s Word still makes no provision for any type of sexual activity except that found within heterosexual marriage between one man and one woman. So to answer the question, “Are homosexual attractions biological?” the conclusive answer is there is no support in the scientific research for the conclusion that homosexuality is biologically determined.
MYTH #3: HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN HETEROSEXUAL ONES
Homosexual advocates want their relationships to be treated the same as heterosexual ones. But are homosexual relationships any different than heterosexual ones? You’d be surprised.
FACT: HOMOSEXUAL MALE RELATIONSHIPS ARE RARELY MONOGAMOUS AND THOSE INVOLVED ARE MORE AT RISK FOR LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESSES
Studies indicate that the average male homosexual has hundreds of sex partners in his lifetime. The median number of partners for homosexuals is four times higher than for heterosexuals.15 A study on the sexual profiles of 2,583 older homosexuals, published in the Journal of Sex Research, found that only 2.7 percent claimed to have had sex with one partner only.16 Research has also found that few homosexual relationships last longer than two years, with many men reporting hundreds of lifetime partners.”17
Check out these findings:
24 percent of gay men had over 100 partners
43 percent of gay men had over 500 partners
28 percent of gay men had over 1000 partners18
Solid, irrefutable evidence proves that there are lethal consequences to engaging in the defining features of male homosexuality—that is, promiscuity. Active homosexuals are vulnerable to dozens of sexually transmitted diseases.19 According to one report, the risk of anal cancer rises by an astounding 4,000 percent for those engaging in homosexual intercourse and doubles again for those who are HIV positive.20
AIDS remains the fifth leading cause of death among those aged 26 to 44, and 60 percent of new cases are contracted by men who have sex with men.21 Despite the twenty-year “safe-sex” campaign, the incidence of unsafe sexual practices resulting in various diseases is on the rise.22 An estimated 30 percent of all 20-year-old homosexual men will be HIV positive or dead by the age of 30.23
Studies have also found that while homosexuals may be trying to convince themselves that what they are doing is acceptable, they have serious doubts in their hearts. A Columbia University study on “internalized homophobia” among homosexual persons found that a significant percentage of homosexuals surveyed held negative attitudes toward their own homosexuality and toward other homosexuals.24
While there are some who would promote the myth that homosexual relationships are no different than heterosexual ones as pure fact, there are also those from the gay community who admit it to be a false statement. Andrew Sullivan, a prominent conservative gay author, says that gay couples adhere to a very different moral standard than straight couples do. He says their moral standard is one in which “a greater understanding of the need for extramarital outlets” exists.25 Also, two researchers who professed themselves to be a gay couple came to the conclusion that gay relationships between men rarely survive if they are not open to outside sexual contacts.26
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
God created the unique relationship between a man and a woman. Yet He is equally unhappy with pre-marital sexual relationships as He is with homosexual relationships. Both are not what He intended. To say that homosexual relationships are the same as heterosexual ones is to make a mockery of God’s divine act of creation and His ordination of marriage. He made man and woman for each other and called it “good” (Genesis 1:26-28,31). To say otherwise is to lead people astray.
MYTH #4: AIDS IS AS MUCH OF A RISK FOR HETEROSEXUALS AS IT IS FOR HOMOSEXUALS
Of course, AIDS is a risk for anyone who engages in sex—especially if that someone is “not a virgin, or who is, or was, an intravenous drug user or blood product recipient.”27 But we’ve already established that, in general, homosexuals are more promiscuous than heterosexuals. Therefore, it is likely that homosexual men are at a greater risk than heterosexuals for contracting AIDS.
FACT: ACCORDING TO THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL, HOMOSEXUAL MEN ARE A THOUSAND TIMES MORE LIKELY TO CONTRACT AIDS THAN THE GENERAL MALE HETEROSEXUAL POPULATION.28
Whoa! While AIDS has indeed become a universal disease, (and you are still at risk when you engage in pre-marital heterosexual behavior) it is an undeniable fact that the potential for an individual to become infected is much more pronounced for homosexual men.
Studies have indicated that the body’s natural immune system is broken down by repeated exposure to semen during anal intercourse. Also, the tearing and rupturing which can take place during such intercourse exposes the individual to infection by manifold serious and dangerous diseases. Of these, AIDS is the most well-known and the most dangerous.29 AIDS remains within the top 10 leading causes of death among those aged 20 to 55. As of December, 2001, 45 percent of all AIDS cases involved men who were exposed to the disease through having sex with other men while 4 percent of the cases were among men who had heterosexual contact.30
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
There is a great physical danger in circulating the myth that homosexuals are not at a greater risk for contracting AIDS than heterosexuals. Of course, there are other risks for those who are involved in homosexuality: isolation, heartache, confusion, disillusionment, abandonment, etc. When you’re living outside of God’s will for your life—whether by experimenting with homosexuality or willfully embracing any other sin—you will feel the effects one way or another. And probably the biggest result of living a sinful life is not having peace with God.
MYTH #5: HOMOSEXUALS ARE NORMAL, HEALTHY, EVERDAY PEOPLE
While the American culture promotes “having it all,” it is likely that most individuals just want to be accepted and appreciated. Homosexuals are no different. They have been wounded by rejection and, in general, seem to say whatever it takes to be considered “normal.” Ironically though, society’s intolerance doesn’t seem to be what’s driving homosexuals into more risky and dangerous behavior. In fact, such conduct tends to exist most intensely in places where homosexuals face the least amount of disapproval—such as large cities like New York and San Francisco or on college campuses with concentrated gay communities.
FACT: CONTRARY TO CLAIMS MADE BY GAY ACTIVISTS, HOMOSEXUALLY ACTIVE PERSONS AS A GROUP APPEAR TO BE LESS PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY THAN THE GENERAL POPULATION
There are several areas where the average homosexual differs from the average, normal, "everyday” heterosexual. Research has shown that men and women living homosexually are at substantially higher risk for some forms of emotional problems, including suicidality, major depression and anxiety disorder, conduct disorder and nicotine dependence.31 For instance, one twin-study found that men with same-sex partners are 6.5 times as likely as their co-twins to attempt suicide.32 Another study found that a substantial percentage of gay males and lesbians report some participation in illegal drug use.33
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
Paul states in the book of Romans that homosexuality is “unnatural.” But some homosexuals will tell you they’ve been attracted to people of the same sex for as long as they can remember—in other words, it just feels natural to them. Unfortunately, their feelings do not justify their actions. “Sin” is any behavior that is displeasing to God. We live in a fallen world and sin has distorted our perception of truth—so, what someone may consider as natural or normal still cannot change the truth of God’s moral laws found in the Bible.
Homosexuality is only one symptom of fallen humanity. In our brokenness of human nature, we have an undeniable inner craving to be whole. And yet, maybe it’s because of our sinful nature that we (homosexuals and heterosexuals) seek wholeness in the wrong areas. Whether we’re struggling with same-sex attractions, pornography, envy or lying, it’s easy to want to slap a label of “normal” or “healthy” on ourselves to try to justify our sinful behaviors. But a label will never cover the deep wounds of people entangled in a life that is displeasing to God. The only place a person can find healing and wholeness is at the foot of the cross.
MYTH #6: THE BIBLE DOESN’T CONDEMN HOMOSEXUALITY—ONLY PROMISCUITY
In recent years, several mainline denominations have abandoned traditional interpretations of Scripture and have embraced the "Gay-Christian" movement. Similarly, people claim that Paul’s statements were only addressed to believers back then and are not relevant today. But God’s Word—which is unchanging and stands forever (Isaiah 40:8) gives us a different story.
FACT: GOD CLEARLY CONDEMNS ANY ACT OF SEX OUTSIDE OF HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE
God designed sexual relationships only for a union between one man and one woman in marriage. The first chapter of Genesis declares that “God created man in His own image . . . male and female He created them.” Throughout this chapter we learn why fornication, adultery and prostitution—as well as “homosexual marriage”—are all distortions of God’s original plan for healthy sexuality.
In the Old Testament, the sin of homosexuality is condemned by the Law of Moses (Leviticus 18:22). In Matthew, male and female relationships are the only sexual relationships allowed by Jesus (Matthew 19:4-6). And the first chapter of Romans is usually considered the most thorough and clear condemnation of homosexuality in the Bible, which includes a specific reference to lesbianism (Romans 1:24-27).
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
There are many distortions in sexuality because of the effects of sin, which have caused grief and hardship to so many. We know from the Bible that those who practice homosexual acts receive “in themselves the due penalty for their perversion” (Romans 1:27, NIV). As the executive director of Exodus International—North America, the world’s leading outreach to those affected by unwanted homosexuality, Alan Chambers sees the devastation that occurs when the lines between right and wrong are blurred, erased or reversed. He states: “Today, culture is moving further and further away from biblical teachings about sexuality and gender. We now have an entire generation of young people being taught that homosexuality is morally, physically and spiritually equivalent to heterosexuality. Because of the downward spiral that has become our way of life, it is not surprising that people are questioning what is right and wrong regarding sex when wrong is now considered normal.
Our actions--good and bad--have consequences that impact us, our society and every single living person that comes after us until eternity. The truth matters because it means freedom for all who believe it and abide by it.
While God’s Word is clear on the matter of homosexuality, it’s also very clear on the matter of healthy sexuality. You’ve probably heard it said that “God has a plan for your life.” Would you believe He also has a plan for your sexuality? He does! He planned for us to have an exciting love life in marriage.
MYTH #7: LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS ARE HEALTHIER THAN GAY MALE RELATIONSHIPS
It’s generally believed that women who have sex with women are less likely to contract a sexually transmitted disease than gay men. While most of the research on medically related health risks of homosexual activity deals with men who have sex with other men, there is interesting research concerning homosexual activity among women.
FACT: LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS ARE EQUALLY UNHEALTHY, AND JUST AS LIFE-THREATENING AS GAY MALE RELATIONSHIPS
The fact is, most women who have sex with women do not do so exclusively. Approximately two-thirds of women surveyed have also had sex with men within the last five years.34 Sexually transmitted disease rates for bisexually active women are as much as twice that of those who engage in exclusively lesbian activity. 35 Likewise, studies have also shown that a significant number of lesbian women engage in other risky behaviors which increase medical risks of disease, such as drug use and exchanging sex for drugs and money.36 Another study reported that lesbians may have higher rates of breast and ovarian cancer because of a variety of risk factors like nulliparity (never having borne a child), childbearing later in life, higher rates of alcohol consumption and obesity.”37
The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) has reported that domestic violence is as common in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender relationships as it is in heterosexual relationships. While Lesbian partnerships generally are of longer duration than gay male relationships, there exists the counterfeit of healthy attachment-including, manipulative behaviors, emotional dependency and over-enmeshment.38
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
It’s important that women know the consequences of their choices. Lesbians are not excluded from the realities of promiscuity, like the HIV virus. The sad truth is that because this myth is being perpetuated, many lesbians are going to the doctor less often. While most heterosexual women visit the gynecologist every eight to nine months on average, the average for lesbians is every 21 to 24 months.39 This is cause for great concern as “many lesbian-identified women have other risk factors for cervical dysplasia, such as multiple male partners, heterosexual intercourse at an early age and cigarette smoking.”40
Again, God’s Word clearly speaks of consequences to sinful behavior. The only true form of “safe sex” is abstinence, or within a heterosexual marriage of one man and one woman. Whether you have lustful temptations for someone of your same sex or of the opposite sex, you can take a stand for purity and experience a lifetime of rewards. True love is worth the wait—not only because the risk of promiscuity, but because God has only blessed sex in the context of a heterosexual marriage.
MYTH #8: HOMOSEXUALITY IS UNCHANGEABLE
This is probably the most devastating myth of homosexuality circulating today. Yet, most homosexuals believe that their homosexuality is so much a part of their identity, that they can do nothing about it. In his report, “Homosexuality in America: Exposing the Myths,” Richard Howe suggests two major reasons why homosexual activists promote this myth:
They would be admitting that there are those in the homosexual community who, after careful thought, have concluded that it is wrong to be homosexual and that it does not lead to personal happiness and fulfillment. Focusing on those homosexuals who want to change continues to emphasize the immorality and personal destructiveness of homosexuality.
They would be denying that homosexuality is physically caused. The more the homosexual community can convince the general public that their homosexuality is beyond their control, the more tolerance or even preferential treatment they can gain in public policy.41
FACT: THERE IS FREEDOM FROM HOMOSEXUALITY
The truth is, there are a tremendous number of homosexuals who have changed, and professional opinions are changing on this issue as well.
Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, the prominent psychiatrist who led the team that deleted homosexuality from the diagnostic manual in 1973, now says homosexuality may be changeable. “Like most psychiatrists,” said Dr. Spitzer, “I thought that homosexual behavior could be resisted—but that no one could really change their sexual orientation. I now believe that’s untrue—some people can and do change.” 42 To the researcher’s surprise, good heterosexual functioning was reportedly achieved by 67 percent of men who had rarely or never felt any opposite-sex attraction before the change process.43 “Contrary to conventional wisdom,” Spitzer concluded, “some highly motivated individuals, using a variety of change efforts, can make substantial change in multiple indicators of sexual orientation and achieve good heterosexual functioning. I’m convinced from the people I have interviewed, that for many of them, they have made substantial changes toward becoming heterosexual . . . I think that’s news . . . I came to this study skeptical, I now claim that these changes can be sustained.”44 Other professionals have reported a range from 50 to 70 percent success rate in the treatment of unwanted homosexual attraction.45 Findings such as these have prompted some professionals to admit that homosexuals can change their sexual orientation through a variety of change efforts.
Individuals who have gone through an Exodus International Member Ministry have discovered that Jesus Christ is sufficient to make the difference. “The road begins not with just giving up on the gay life, not with trying to relate with a woman, not with just trying to relate to other men in a different way; it begins with coming into a relationship with God . . . From where many of us stand who have gone down that road, it was difficult, but it was worth it a hundred times over, because it has been the way to joy, freedom and personal fulfillment.”46 Is homosexuality unchangeable? Hardly. There is plenty of evidence that homosexual attraction can be diminished and that changes can be made.
WHY DOES THE TRUTH MATTER?
God is clear about the consequences of unrighteousness such as homosexual behavior. Yet, as with other sinful lifestyles, homosexuality is forgivable if a person repents of his or her actions and turns to God. His power can bring healing, restoration and change. That’s the message that’s being silenced today: there is freedom from homosexuality through the unconditional love and grace of Jesus Christ. Of course, ending a destructive behavior—especially one that is addictive in nature like drinking, smoking or having homosexual (or heterosexual) intercourse—is a difficult task. But there is so much hope with Jesus! Think about it: God’s power is amazing! If He could raise Jesus from the dead, He can rescue a person from any entanglement.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
-1 John 1:9, NIV
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, and the new has come!
-2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV
YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE STRUGGLING WITH HOMOSEXUALITY
The best thing you can do for someone you know battling the sin of homosexuality is pray! Ask God to give you opportunities to show your care and concern for them and pray for the strength and courage to share the truth in love. Dr. Jeffrey Satinover has written extensively on the struggle of homosexuality and has helped countless people help others—and help themselves. The following has been adapted from his “What to Do . . . and Not to Do” list from his report Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions.47
Remember that all of us have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. So, be willing to share about your own personal struggles and temptations.
Don’t condemn. People have not “chosen” to “have homosexual feelings” the way some choose to live in a certain city. To describe it this way is to convince them that you have no understanding at all about their experience—and no sympathy for it, as well. Know that the core of the homosexual struggle is rejection.
Don’t start citing all the problems with homosexuality. Consider how rarely exhortations convince someone to give up alcohol or smoking. But don’t go to the opposite extreme either. Unquestioning acceptance of homosexuality as a legitimate “alternative” may seem at first to be the only compassionate option. But there are better and more appropriate approaches that show concern and understanding, yet deal with the reality of the situation.
Try to prevent the problem before it occurs. Openly discuss the subject of homosexuality with your friends or anyone you are close to who may be struggling. Familiarize yourself with the causes and address them at an early time. Help them understand the risks.
Share specific avenues of help like the ministry of Exodus International-North America that has helped thousands of men and women in the midst of their struggle with homosexuality. Give them hope that change is possible! Perhaps even share this article with them. Even if the person is defensive and resistant, a specific route of assistance that is lovingly offered may be followed some day down the road.
Show love, concern, gentleness and respect as you point the way to healing.
Need more help?
Exodus International-North America is a worldwide coalition of Christian ministries that offers support to men and women seeking to overcome homosexuality, as well as services for family members and friends. Most of these ministries offer support groups, one-on-one counseling and literature. For a free packet of literature on the work of Exodus, including a complete list of referral ministries, contact: Exodus International-North America, P.O. Box 540119 Orlando, FL 32854; (888) 264-0877; e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org; www.exodus-international.org.
1 G. Remafedi, M. Resnick, R. Blum, and L. Harris, “Demography of Sexual Orientation in Adolescents” The Journal of Pediatrics, vol. 89, no. 4, April 1992, pp. 714-21.
2 J. Budziszewski, Ph.D., “A War of Words,” Boundless, www.boundless.org, September 30, 1998.
4Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, Robert T. Michael, John H.Gagnon, Edward O. Laumann, and Gina Kolata, Little, Brown and Company, Boston, 1994, p. 176.
5Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy, Clyde E. Martin, W.B. Saunders Company, Philadelphia and London, 1948, pp. 650-651.
6Kinsey, Sex and Fraud, Judith A. Reisman, Ph.D., and Edward W. Eichel, Lochinvar-Huntington House Publishers, 1990.
7Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, Robert T. Michael, John H. Gagnon, Edward O. Laumann, and Gina Kolata, Little, Brown and Company, Boston, 1994, p. 176.
8 Friend of the Court brief filed with the U.S. Supreme Court on March 26, 2003 in Lawrence v. Texas, known as the Texas sodomy case. Footnote 42 on page 16 of this legal brief. See Laumann, et al. The Social Organization of Sex: Sexual Practices in the United States, 1994 or "Some Uses and Abuses of the Kinsey Scale," Bruce Voeller, Homosexuality, Heterosexuality: Concepts of Sexual Orientation, The Kinsey Institute Series, June Machover Reinisch, ed., Oxford University Press, 1990, p. 35. “The Homosexual Numbers," March 22, 1993, p. 37.
9Santinover, Jeffrey, M.D., “Is There a ‘Gay Gene?’” National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) Fact Sheet, March 1999, p. 1.
10“The Innate-Immutable Argument Finds No Basis in Science,” “In Their Own Words: Gay Activists Speak About Science, Morality, Philosophy” by Dean Byrd, Ph.D., Shirley E. Cox, Ph.D., Jeffrey W. Robinson, Ph.D. http://www.narth.com/docs/innate.html, 30 September 2002.
12“The Innate-Immutable Argument Finds No Basis in Science,” “In Their Own Words: Gay Activists Speak About Science, Morality, Philosophy” by Dean Byrd, Ph.D., Shirley E. Cox, Ph.D., Jeffrey W. Robinson, Ph.D. http://www.narth.com/docs/innate.html, 30 September 2002. William Byne and Bruce Parsons, “Human Sexual Orientation: The Biologic Theories Reappraised.” Archives of General Psychiatry 50, no. 3.
13 Larry Burtoft, Ph.D., Setting the Record Straight: What Research Really Says About the Social Consequences of Homosexuality, Focus on the Family 1994, p. 58.
14“The Innate-Immutable Argument Finds No Basis in Science,” “In Their Own Words: Gay Activists Speak About Science, Morality, Philosophy” by Dean Byrd, Ph.D., Shirley E. Cox, Ph.D., Jeffrey W. Robinson, Ph.D. http://www.narth.com/docs/innate.html, September 30, 2002.
15 Whitehead, N.E.; Whitehead, B.K. (1999): My Genes Made Me Do It! Huntington House, Lafayette, Louisiana, calculated from Laumann et al., 1994.
16Paul Van de Ven et al., “A Comparative Demographic and Sexual Profile of Older Homosexually Active Men,” Journal of Sex Research 34 (1997): p. 354. Dr. Paul Van de Ven reiterated these results in a private conversation with Dr. Robert Gagnon on September 7, 2000.
17M. Pollak, “Male Homosexuality, Western Sexuality: Practice and Precept in Past and Present Times”, ed. P. Aries and A. Bejin, translated by Anthony Forster, New York, NY: B. Blackwell, 1985, pp. 40-61.
18“Survey Finds 40 percent of Gay Men Have Had More Than 40 Sex Partners,” Lambda Report, January/February 1998, p. 20. A. P. Bell and M. S. Weinberg, Homosexualities: A Study of Diversity Among Men and Women (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978), pp. 308, 9; see also Bell, Weinberg and Hammersmith, Sexual Preference (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1981).
19W.E. Owen Jr., “Medical Problems of the Homosexual Adolescent,” Journal of Adolescent Health Care 6, No. 4, July 1985, pp. 278-85.
20Fenger, C. “Anal Neoplasia and Its Precursors: Facts and Controversies,” Seminars in Diagnostic Pathology 8, no. 3, August 1991, pp. 190-201; Daling, J.R. et al., “Sexual Practices, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and the Incidence of Anal Cancer,” New England Journal of Medicine 317, no. 16, 15 October 1987, pp. 973-77; Holly, E.A. et al., “Anal Cancer Incidence: Genital Warts, Anal Fissure or Fistula, Hemorrhoids, and Smoking,” Journal of the National Cancer Institute 81 , no. 22, November 1989, pp. 1726-31; Daling, J.R. et al., “Correlates of Homosexual Behavior and the Incidence of Anal Cancer,” Journal of the American Medical Association 247, no. 14, 9 April 1982, pp. 1988-90; Cooper, H.S., Patchefsky, A.S. and Marks, G., “Cloacogenic Carcinoma of the Anorectum in Homosexual Men: An Observation of Four Cases”; Diseases of the Colon and Rectum 22, no. 8, 1979, pp. 557-58. Also see Between the Lines, Michigan's statewide gay newspaper, reporting on the risk of anal cancer for men who have sex with men, http://www.afa.net/homosexual_agenda/ha031901.asp.>
21“APA’s Practical Guidelines for the Treatment of Patients with HIV/AIDS,” Epidemiology, Clinical Features Influencing Treatment, sections, www.psych.org/aids/, Anti-Viral Treatment section.
22 “Increases in Unsafe Sex and Rectal Gonorrhea among Men Who Have Sex with Men—San Francisco, California, 1994-1997,” Mortality and Morbidity Weekly Report, (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, January 29, 1999), p. 45.
23 Satinover, Jeffrey, “Reflections: Interview with NARTH,” February 5, 2001, http:www.narth.com/docs/satinover.html.
24 Shidlo, A., 1994, “Internalized Homophobia: Conceptual and Empirical Issues”, in Greene, B., Herek G, Lesbian and Gay Psychology. Thousand Oaks: CA: Sage, pp. 176-205.
25McWhirter, D. and Mattison, A., The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop, Prentice-Hall, 1984.
27Jeffrey Santinover, M.D., “Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions: What You Need to Know, Where to Find Help,” Focus on the Family broadcast, February 5-7, 1997.
28THE HIV/AIDS Surveillance Report, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control, National Center for Infectious Diseases, Division of HIV/AIDS, through December 2001.
29Larry Burtoft, Ph.D., Setting the Record Straight: What Research Really Says About the Social Consequences of Homosexuality, Focus on the Family, 1994, pp. 32-33.
30THE HIV/AIDS Surveillance Report, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control, National Center for Infectious Diseases, Division of HIV/AIDS, through December 2001.
31Fergusson, D.M.; Horwood, L.J.; Beautrais, A.L., 1999: Is sexual orientation related to mental health problems and suicidality in young people? Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 56, pp. 876-880.; Herrell, R.; Goldberg, J.; True, W.R.; Ramakrishnan, V.; Lyons, M.; Eisen, S.; Tsuang, M.T., 1999: Sexual orientation and suicidality: a co-twin control study in adult men. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 56, pp. 867-874.; Sandfort, T.G.M.; de Graaf, R.; Bijl, R.V.; Schnabel, 2001: Same-sex sexual behavior and psychiatric disorders. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 58, pp. 85-91.; Bailey, J.M. (1999): Commentary: Homosexuality and mental illness. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 56, pp. 876-880.
32Herrell, R.; Goldberg, J.; True, W.R.; Ramakrishnan, V.; Lyons, M.; Eisen, S.; Tsuang, M.T. (1999): Sexual orientation and suicidality: a co-twin control study in adult men. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry 56, pp. 867-874.
33“Not Afraid to Come Out: A celebration of freedom from homosexuality,” by Matt Kaufman, Boundless webzine, Focus on the Family, September 30, 1998.
34 “Health Implications Associated With Homosexuality,” The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, March 1999, p. 48.
37 “Health Implications Associated With Homosexuality,” The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, March 1999, p. 51.
38“Understanding the Lesbian Client” by Andria L. Sigler-Smalz, clinical pastoral counselor, http://www.narth.com/docs/understanding.html.>
39“Health Implications Associated With Homosexuality,” The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, March 1999, p. 51.
41Richard Howe, “Homosexuality in America: Exposing the Myths” The American Family Association, 1994, pp 11-12.
42A report released May 9, 2001 at the annual American Psychiatric Association convention, psychiatrist Dr. Robert Spitzer, Chief of Biometrics Research and Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University in New York City.
45Jeffrey Satinover, M.D., Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1996. Therapy of Homosexuality, 1999 Annual Conference, Salt Lake City, UT.
46 No Easy Way brochure by Regeneration (Baltimore: Regeneration, Inc., 1991). Regeneration is a non-profit, interdenominational Christian ministry for men and women seeking a way out of homosexuality.
47Jeffrey Satinover, M.D., “Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions: What You Need to Know, Where to Find Help,” Focus on the Family broadcast, February 5-7, 1997.