Family Life IV: The Proverbial Parent
Purposefully Plan and Prioritize your Power Parenting Pr 1:7-8
Purpose of Parenting:
To shepherd the child(ren) God's entrusted into my stewardship from being parent controlled to self controlled to HS controlled so that my child(ren)-disciple(s) will bring glory to God as they achieve competency in their spiritual, social, and vocational developmental tasks.
Children are commanded to obey (Eph 6:1; Col 3:2), honor (Ex 20:12) and requite (1Tim 5:4)
Purpose to Walk with God (for strength; personal wholeness; model curbing natural instincts, fears, crying, reactions
Accept Authority & Responsibility and Acknowledge Reality Pr 2:1-15
Accept your child's uniqueness and God's provision of all you need.
Acknowledge your mistakes (past, present, and future) and the humanity of your child.
Rules, Rod and Reproof give Wisdom and Security Pr 29:15; 13:24; 19:18
Sell them on the what, why and benefit (see outline on discipline: Biblical Principles of Parenting/Training 8/91)
Esteem Them so They'll Esteem Themselves (see outline on self-worth 8/95) Pr 4:1-27
Compete: develop the basic skill and character set for survival in our society
Compensate: develop their unique motivated potentials to excel
Celebrate: praise, honor, and come unglued with enthusiastic affirmation over their accomplishments
Need Meet as God Meets Your Needs (security, acceptance, belonging, love, etc.) Pr 3:11-12
Study needs, interests, abilities, temptations, reactions (Sesame Street)
Teach and Train for both Here and Hereafter (see outline on "What to stress for success" 8/95) Pr 3:1-18
SELECTED RULES & ORDINANCES FOR PARENTS
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before your relationship with God.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of parent in vain, but consistently exercise authority as God has exercised it for you.
3. Thou shalt love, enjoy and delight in each child God's loaned to you, to deliver you from your selfishness.
4. Thou shalt honor and affirm the unique pattern and potential God's created in each child.
5. Thou shalt not kill thy child's sense of worth and value by criticism.
6. Thou shalt act toward thy children with pure emotions and actions which are proper for the whole world to see.
7. Thou shalt not steal thy children's childhood from them.
8. Thou shalt speak and model the truth in all thy dealings with thy children.
9. Thou shalt not covet or compare thy neighbors' children in the presence of thy children.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy child-free neighbors' freedom, clean house, or undisturbed sleep.
a. The most helpful thing you can do for your children is cultivate your own relationship with God as your top priority.
b. Your model for parenting and disciplining your children is that of your heavenly Father.
c. How you relate to your mate indicates how you will relate to your children, and determine how your children will relate to you.
d. Parents are commanded to inculcate the Lord's values and godly behavior.
e. Right values will result in right behavior.
f. Parents are commanded not to provoke their children to anger nor to discourage them.
g. Parents have to respond to every challenge of their authority.
h. The rod should be reserved for rebellion (rather than childish irresponsibility or forgetfulness) to teach just, earned consequences.
i. Folly (choice of wrong objectives) is replaced by wisdom with both the rod and reasonable reproof.
j. Rules and discipline are for the benefit of the child, and must be enforced consistently to provide security.
k. If the parent uses (abuses) their children to boost their own self esteem, they're losers who will beget losers.
l. The basis of Biblical self worth/value is a relationship with Jesus Christ in which value and worth are given and received.
m. We have to help our children compete, compensate, and celebrate.
n. Criticism kills.
o. We must respect the way God has created our children with unique abilities and potentials, and train accordingly.
p. Our goal is to see our children as independent disciples of Jesus Christ.
q. Our children are a trust from God. We're just borrowing them and may have to return them without a moment's notice.
Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:
1. What makes you feel adequate/inadequate as a parent? How will you be different from your parents?
2. What are some of the pitfalls of parenting you've observed?
3. What makes parenting harder/easier? Over which of those items do you have control?
4. If all the children in the world were like yours, in what kind of shape would the world be?
5. If your children turn out to be just like you, will you have succeeded or failed?