Big Apple Chapel is a New Testament based church in New York City, modeled after the pattern of the early church, with a strong emphasis on following Christ as a community of His disciples.

  • Sunday - 10:30 am
  • 520 8th Ave, 16th floor
    New York, NY
  • phone: +1 (973) 837-1041


BAC Sermons

Family Life III: How to be the Husband of a Contented Wife

1995-07-01 Ephesians 5:22-33

Respecter (Innate Differences of Men and Women - tape from Dobson, Focus on the Family)

Obeyer of the Director's/Manufacturer's Directions {see sermon on "The S-Word: Submission"}

Lover (not just Liker or Lustor) Get your needs met by God so you're free to meet the needs of others.

Executor of Developmental Tasks: Leave, Cleave, One Flesh, etc. (Passages of Marriage, Minrith et. al. Nelson 1991)

Eject excess baggage, erroneous expectations, egalitarian myth, and self-centered slop.

Server of Needs: Identify, Purify, Satisfy (His Needs, Her Needs, Harley. Revell 1986)



Affectionate (as she perceives it) Eph 5:29; 1Cor 7:3

Conversationalist (with attention, feeling & interest; 15 hrs.) 1Cor 14:35

Transparent/Trustworthy (secure in your honest accountability) 1Cor 7:4; 11:11-12

Economic Earner 1Tim 5:7; Gen 3:17-19

Responsible Father Titus 1:6-9; 1Tim 3:4-5; Col 3:21


Build Your Spouse and Family for Everybody's Benefit Eph 5:26-29





Understand and Act Upon Her: Needs, Desires, Abilities, Limitations, and Temptations 1Pet 3:7

                (What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women, Dobson.)


                Societal Insecurity

                Spiritual Umbrella

Take Initiative to Lead the Relationship: Resolve, Reconcile, Reduce, Recreate, and Reorganize Eph 5:23

Love as Christ Has Loved you & as you would like to be loved 1Jn 3:16; 4:11; 1Cor 13

Affection, Brotherly, Erotic, Agape=Self-sacrificially doing what's in another's best interest...even when they're unlovable


Envision Yourself Acting and Feeling Your Part (as would Christ) Rom 6:11; 8:5-8 Eph 5:23

Restrain Your Natural Responses Rom 12:1-2; 2Cor 5:17; Pr 5

Natural and emotional is not Spiritual but Fleshly. God expects believers' minds to control attitudes and actions.       

Self-centered, Lustful, Lazy and Indifferent

Questions for Reflection/Discussion/Response:

1. What's your motivation for having a "contented" wife? How do you lead your relationship in "oneness"?

2. In your relationship do you view yourself as: CEO, Vice-president, manager, consultant, engineer, accountant, salesman, fireman, personnel specialist, mail clerk, temporary help, custodian or attorney? How does your wife view you? How would a change affect your relationship?

3. What are the top three needs of your wife? What are you doing to address those needs?

4. What grounds does your wife have for resisting your leadership? When and how will the issues be addressed and the changes occur?

5. Why don't husbands lead/love? What could your wife do to make your job easier? When will you take the initiative to talk about it?